Saturday, January 31
22:31
packed w acivities these few days.
activities and meetups clash, and had to miss some.
sigh.
i hate to choose.
colin's 21st yday, and i finally got to see sx.
and the rest too of cos.
i miss the usual gang of bballers who used to stay til late at the pj bball courts after trng, to shoot, play, or just talk cock.
and i survived today w only 2.5 hours of slp.
it was an emo night.
guess what.
i missed trng again this morning cos i went back to pj for netball in the morning.
i dunno what shud i feel or think alr.
i think i cnnt commit myself to smth tt requires so much commitment.
i have so many other stuff gg on.
i suck at prioritising my activites and stuff and whatever lah.
and when ppl doubt me, self doubt starts setting in too.
mayb its cos i miss too many trngs alr.
why am i obliged, and feel guilty when i'm doing smth i like?
URGH.
help.
mind over heart, or heart over mind?
i'llspreadmywings
anndlearnhowtofly
CNY's over!
well, the first 3 days anw.
bainian on the first day like any other new years, saw relatives whom i've nv seen for a v long time.
not really interested in angbaos anymore. actually, idk what am i interested in alr.
aiya nthg interesting anw. its the same old thing.
i still love visiting my relatives in msia on the 2nd day of ny. :D the house's always filled w ppl but still enough space for everyone, and there nv fails to be fun and laughter! :D
and i came back to hall straight feeling sick and uncomfortable. quickly wenta bed, and vomited awhile after. YUCK. went for 206 lecture frm 830 til 1030, and came back to hall to slp until 3-ish. yes i skipped the other 5 hours of lectures. ):
mix trng today. THE WARMUP RUN WAS A KILLER!
walau i hate medicine balls and the track. TOTALLY. they super dun go well tgt.
ahlian beehoon after tt! :D
laughing and everything tts laughable.
esp BIGteeth and she thinks i'm irritating lor!
and now, what shud i do at night today?
of cos, the db steamboat. since i dun feel left out at all and am happy there.
sometimes, people's superficiality really irks me.
how attention seeking too.
brr.
mayb i just cant fit no matter how hard i want to even after the past few years.
its just all surface play.
is it really?
i'llspreadmywings
anndlearnhowtofly
HAPPY CNY! :D
so tired!
NC recce yday was not bad! our whole subgroup except youtian went, plus junyi and wanqing.
quite fun i guess. though the route we took is impossible for camp..tts what recces are for man.
celebrated darren's belated bday at our first check pt w pizzzzzas!
hehe.and i saw BENSON MA at our second checkpt, near zouk! so coincidental.
so many upslopes, but downslopes are SHIOKNESS.
reached ntu at ard 4.
dropped ppl off while returning the bicycles.
AND I DROVE THE VAN! :D SO FUN PLS. after junyi drove himself home, i took over and drove myself home before elvin returned the van to sch. i like!
okay so i reached home at like, 7 near 8? washed up and went out w my family at ard 10. and met my auntie, had lunch, before she let me drive her manual mitsubishi! first time i drove manual after my tp! and i forgot all the clutching and stuff. but quite fun ah. :D
reached home at 3 and rested only for awhile before our reunion dinner.
i think i shud slp soon.
SO TIRED. ):
have to wake up early to bainian tmr.
i'llspreadmywings
anndlearnhowtofly
so weak!
):
still feel abit tired after so many days of resting. idk why. issit just mentally?
went to N3 rooftop to drink tt night after pre cny steamboat w phoenix at hall3.
the stars were so bright, the wind was so strong, it was a fantastic night.
HELLO POK THE STALKER! haha. and I NVR HATED YOU PLS.
we COT-ed until i hit the bed at 5am.
woke up at 9, for hw111. and was picked on by the tutor, asking me if i still haven woken up cos i stoned at his qn directed to me. how?
feeling damn groggy the whole day and didnt go for trng, again. came home and slept til night time. woke up w a fever ):
i think i need alot of slp esp after the sem break. like at least 7 hours if not i'll really be stoning.
went out w wenjie yday!
and i finally got my ny clothes.headed to ikea, had lunch, talked alot, and i rested on the bench again while he went to settle his business.
i think mayb its just cos i'm lazy, i feel tired when i walk for such a little while.
i laughed damn hard cos he washed his hands w the tap in ikea, and also cos his cute mum wants him to buy a pink towel. hahaha.
i really, really, really, miss my old friends damn alot.
went out w family at night. finally, had a go on the new mazda2. obviously nthg to complain abt since there's a car to drive, but i'd still say i like colt better.
oh and my bro gave me 100 for cny shopping! :D
went to fareast floral to buy flowers for cny. the place was full of ppl man.
the CNY atmosphere!
bought quite abit to decorate our house. (:
if daddy was here, he'd definitely have gotten alot alot alot more.
missed trng this morning.
sigh.
nc recce later, until tmr morning.
hope everything turns out well and we dun get lost.
cant wait for family reunion dinner and family gatherings.
i'llspreadmywings
anndlearnhowtofly
so fast, i'm gg to take back my words.
i shud nvr be happy, i shud nvr be evil.
this sucks, seriously.
i'llspreadmywings
anndlearnhowtofly
204 is gg to kill me i swear.
i dun understand anything in the tutorial at all!
how like tt! ):
I WANNA GO KOREA THIS JULY FOR THE DB RACE!
and jessica msged me today to ask if i'm free to do camps this week.
sigh, lessons, if not, i'll be down there w the kids ):
miss doing camps. and i saw kennedy along corridors in sch still! :D
his first camp w camelot was w meeeee, replacement for keeon haha.
i dunno why my mood is so easily affected.
i hate it like tt.
but anyhoooos, felt quite relieved and ABIT happy yday night.
sigh, tell me, how like tt!
evil shuting.
i'llspreadmywings
anndlearnhowtofly
my bro sent me back to hall straight frm msia.
and i saw this envelope on the floor when i stepped in, wch indicated ' To: Shu Ting =) '
opened it and saw this photo w the hall 12 bballers and a msg behind the photo.
i'm surprised tt boyang, our team manager/coach, would do this!
it definitely brought a smile to my face. (:
i'm so tired.
and i seriously need help in 204.
i got no idea how to do! at all! sigh.
i'llspreadmywings
anndlearnhowtofly
hello BIGTEETH! :D
was feeling so idk what during trng today, cant do anything well and cant do anything right. what's wrong?
and i fell down, tripping over tt stupid hump. grr.
tuitioned after tt, and discovered tt my tutee now has a handphone much more better than mine. UNFAIR!
and he's like what, pri 3?
apple gave me a packet of sunflower seeds before trng today :D so loved.
and not gg for trng again tmr..
i realise i always miss out on the sunday trngs. ):
i miss those times when the family gathers at my grandma's hse in msia every sunday.
oh well.
played ball w LAM COLIN JEROLD WEIWEI VINCENT yday at ntu. :D
and we didnt bring any balls! luckily we manage to get one frm shahul or i'll definitely get niam-ed until forever.
played a few games only. dinner/supper after tt at alameeeen.
i miss those times playing ball and talking cock at the 2nd level court in pj, until late at night.
they nv fail to cheer me up w their nonsensical nonsense. (:
cant wait to see them again.
and i feel damn guilty, seriously.
I AM REALLY SORRY LAM!
hope you'll recover v v v v v soon!
i hope the ice wch i RAN to the src to get helped. haha.
and tt pretty doctor.. and..
okay mayb i shud stop before you whack me.
TAKE CARE AH.
its not mine, but still its the first second car i drove after i pass my tp.
so,
goodbyee mitsubishi.
hello mazda.
i'llspreadmywings
anndlearnhowtofly
why should i be feeling sad, when i'm blessed w such great friends?
sometimes i wish that they can stop being so nice to me.
they're really so nice, they're making me cry.
i'llspreadmywings
anndlearnhowtofly
uh slap me up down left right okay.like, SERIOUSLY.
i hate myself like tt.
anyhooos.
i realise how much i've been taking things and ppl around me for granted.
family, friends, everything i have.
why shud i care bout smth wch is not even impt, when there are so much more who cares bout me?
my family-always there for me.
i will always have a ride back to sch if i request for one.
like the other day, even if i said i dun need a ride back to hall my sis still insisted on sending me back.
they go all out to provide for my needs, my everything.
i nv realise how some other ppl have to work for their own allowances, while i just thought i SHOULD be getting allowances since i'm still schooling. how dependent. and how some have to slog their asses off for their own necessities, while mine is fully paid for.
its time to be more independent.
my friends-nv fail to cheer me up when i'm down.
even when i'm happy,they make me happier.
i do really miss my old friends, they made me who i am today.
but i love my new friends too.
why should i be asking for more?
its time to be more mature.
but actually, how can i not care?
i'llspreadmywings
anndlearnhowtofly
and i ponned lecture today >.<
2nd week only leh!
how can like tt.sigh.
came home, and watched spirited away. :D
my sis bought the whole collection of the hayao miyazaki animation, studio ghibli collection.
DAMN NICE, i like. watched howl's moving castle the other day.
mayb i shud be like, doing my tutorials instead?
):
okay, airport later to send nicole off to swedennnnnn.
i wanna go overseas tooo!
i'llspreadmywings
anndlearnhowtofly
ppl really do change, don't they?
mayb sometimes, we shud really just take a small step back, to look and reflect, on what are/were we doing.
some just dun give a damn though.
oh well.
ON A SIDENOTE.
I HATE PPL WHO IGNORE ME.
):
i'llspreadmywings
anndlearnhowtofly
so, it marks the end of ihg today.
i guess we did pretty well, though we lost.
anyhooooooos.
its back to sch!
boring, even though its all-lectures-no-tutorials week.
played ball today, damn fun.
but i'm feeling like damn lethargic now, issit cos of the 7 hours lectures i had today and ball and nball after tt, or am i falling sick? D:
i need friends, like pretty badly.
was just talking to sx the other day, when i was feeling all lousy and stuff.
and i realised, i'm nt the only one who'll feel this way!
her hugs cheered me up pretty much, and a gd night slp helped too.
and, hello again.
you're not being nice like how i hope you'll be.
):
i'llspreadmywings
anndlearnhowtofly
its 2009!
nye and ny was well spent.
just tt i'm quite sad i didnt get to countdown w the db girls at kallang..
but still, i manage to spend ny w them! (:
had programmers' christmas + ny party at hillview, and gift exchanged. i was named, ms driver who doesnt know her way ard town. thanks ah. and my gift exchange partner was mr gel alot. stayed til bout 11 before we left the place for lewis's. i contemplated for damn long whether to go down to kallang cos they keep telling me i'll still be in the train at 12 and countdowning w alot of..YOU KNOW. so yea, bout 10 of us over at lewis's, and we played !bang all the way til morning. like 8+ hours of !bang? but damn fun lah! i like. and when i see the ponyo advertisement on tv now, i keep thinking of enyu. -.-
went home to slp and met the db girls later in the day for bbq at yvonnnne's!
school's starting. I GOT ASTRO! :D
hello you, be nice.
i'llspreadmywings
anndlearnhowtofly